“What you doin’?”

That’s how Jakey begins many a line of inquiry.  He shortens words like doing so he has an adorable, manly tone like a tiny Joey Tribbiani from Friends.

“What’s doggie doin’?”

“What Mr. Beachwood doin’?”

Traffic was crazy this morning.  I had to take the right turn onto Terwilliger and circle around the back way to daycare.  The alternative was merging into stopped traffic heading left up the hill.  Instead, I got a moving start and a turn lane to make a turn onto upper Boones Ferry followed by a nearly unobstructed route through the forest and past the cemeteries.  It’s that or wait out several light cycles of bumper-to-bumper crawl going the usual way.

I go with a little more mileage for a lot less headache.

Jakey’s question came when someone in a small, silver Acura held back and flashed their lights to offer me the space I needed to turn left through the gridlock.

I am a strong believer in the courtesy wave and I gave this driver a big one as I pulled across in front of them.

Now that Jakey’s car seat is turned around to forward-facing, he sees everything I do and asks about most of it.  He also gives the play-by-play of what’s happening around us on every drive.  City buses, bicycles, people walking dogs, a kayak on a roof rack.  He sees all.

So I spent part of our drive to daycare explaining what a courtesy wave is and why that person in the Acura merited one.  And you know what?  It felt good to know that, even if he’s only two and won’t be driving for a few more years, he just might grow up into the kind of guy who gives the courtesy wave.

It’s flat out good manners and it puts a little dose of friendly into the vicious world of commuting.  With as hurried and harried as many of us are, I will go so far as to posit that the courtesy wave may be key to preserving the very fabric of humanity.  At least the small, “privileged” portion of humanity who spend too much time in personal commuter vehicles.

We can all do our part.

I was telling this story to one of my college students a few minutes ago. I said that there are really only two hand gestures you can wave in traffic.  Now that Jakey is facing forward, I make sure I only utilize the real courtesy wave and not the other one—the discourtesy wave, if you will.  He’ll learn about that other gesture in due time, but not this week.

Hopefully.

Nothing would be both cuter and more profane than a toddler flipping the bird to someone who cut his dad off on the freeway after passing on the right while weaving in and out of traffic like someone living out his NASCAR wet dream in a souped-up Impreza with the foot-high spoiler and two fat tailpipes.

Easy Jakey, keep those middle fingers holstered.

My mom brought me a newspaper clipping recently (okay, several clippings) and one was this short piece about the courtesy wave by Celia Rivenbank.  It’s great.  My mom said it reminded her of my writing, which I took as a compliment.

I read the article and said, “What part reminded you of my writing, the snarky, ranting part?”

“Well, yes.”

I still take it as a compliment.